It’s time for our annual Young Women’s Camp Fundraiser and I’m in charge this year. I decided that for our entertainment I’d ask each auxiliary to lip-sync to a 50’s or 60’s song; I’d seen this done once and it was hilarious.
So last night was rehearsal night at the church. The “Oldies” of the ward, four of the High Priests, Jack, Dave, Brent, and Gerry showed up to go over their Beach Boy’s song, but spent a lot of time waiting for the fifth of their group. Jack finally called Alan and reminded him of the rehearsal and told him to “come on over.”
While waiting, though, a young woman, Desserey, decided she’d like to run through her rendition of “Puppy Love” but was a little shy about singing on the stage. I told her that if she couldn’t perform in front of five old people, she was going to have trouble performing in front of a hundred or more at the fundraiser.
Immediately, Gerry spoke up and said, “Hey, only FOUR old people!”
I turned to Gerry and said, “Thank you, “ then to Desserey, “Ok, four old men and a beautiful not old lady!”
Now Alan lives only three minutes from the church, but he never showed up, so we all decided to leave.
Jack and I drove our usual 20 minutes home, took our time unloading a bunch of stuff from my car to Jack’s truck, crossed the river, drove up to the house and as we were parking the vehicles, I nearly had a heart attack!
There, in the driveway, sitting on a chair, in the dark, his bike next to him, was Alan.
“I think I got my wires crossed,” was all he said.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Bluetooth and the Banana
Getting old is the pits! I feel like my warranty is running out, and all my pieces parts need repairs or replacements. I spend a lot of time at Physical Therapy for tendonitis in one part or another of my body. It’s always one thing or another. Lately, Jack’s been getting cramps in his legs in the middle of the night. I’ve been concerned about his potassium levels, so he’s been eating a banana and drinking orange juice on his way to school each morning. I just usually have a breakfast of Motrin.
But the body isn’t as concerning as the brain, or lack of it. As I’ve been admitting to my friends lately, I’m having more and more “Senior Moments” and they seem to be turning into a “Senior Life”…But, I’m not alone! Jack’s such a wonderful support system that he’s right there behind me with all his own amusing episodes – like yesterday…
Jack got on the Internet to find a new Bluetooth, but first he had to see what model phone he has, so he took it out of his phone holder, took the battery out and found the model number. As I was turning off the computer for the night, I noticed his phone cover and his old Bluetooth sitting on my desk.
I took them to him and asked where his phone was. He checked the recharger where he keeps it each night, no phone. We searched the floor, the desk, the trash, everywhere in my office, no phone. He walked back outside in the dark where he’d been fixing a gate and looked everywhere, no phone. He walked up the hill where he’d gone to open the water tanks, no phone. He searched everywhere outside, while I searched everywhere inside, no phone.
We were so diligent because he’s gone without it before and it’s really an inconvenience! He wanted to have it for work, so we just kept looking. We were so desperate, we even “humbled ourselves as little children” and said a little prayer for help, no phone.
Giving up our search, yet certain we’d find it somewhere, maybe in the morning, we went upstairs for the night. Standing next to the bed, Jack reached to remove his phone holder from his belt, and took his phone out of its holder!
Then I noticed a stain at the waist of his T-shirt.
“What’s that stain?” I asked, a little perplexed, having never seen this before and fearing something horrific, like a ruptured tumor or some toxic lesion.
“Oh, nothing,” he said, trying to divert my attention.
Well it didn’t look like nothing. It was black and yellow and puss colored, so I persisted.
Reluctantly he offered, “Well, this morning I had to carry three bags of trash across the river, and my hands were full. After I threw the trash into the back of the car, I drove to school. ”
So? Nothing strange so far…
“…And when I got out of the car at school I felt something wet inside my shirt at my waist, and, well, when I reached around the side of my shirt I found my banana…”
He continued, “…I put it in my shirt because I didn’t have any hands left, but I forgot about it until I got to school. But,” he continued, looking at me proudly, “I still ate it!”
But the body isn’t as concerning as the brain, or lack of it. As I’ve been admitting to my friends lately, I’m having more and more “Senior Moments” and they seem to be turning into a “Senior Life”…But, I’m not alone! Jack’s such a wonderful support system that he’s right there behind me with all his own amusing episodes – like yesterday…
Jack got on the Internet to find a new Bluetooth, but first he had to see what model phone he has, so he took it out of his phone holder, took the battery out and found the model number. As I was turning off the computer for the night, I noticed his phone cover and his old Bluetooth sitting on my desk.
I took them to him and asked where his phone was. He checked the recharger where he keeps it each night, no phone. We searched the floor, the desk, the trash, everywhere in my office, no phone. He walked back outside in the dark where he’d been fixing a gate and looked everywhere, no phone. He walked up the hill where he’d gone to open the water tanks, no phone. He searched everywhere outside, while I searched everywhere inside, no phone.
We were so diligent because he’s gone without it before and it’s really an inconvenience! He wanted to have it for work, so we just kept looking. We were so desperate, we even “humbled ourselves as little children” and said a little prayer for help, no phone.
Giving up our search, yet certain we’d find it somewhere, maybe in the morning, we went upstairs for the night. Standing next to the bed, Jack reached to remove his phone holder from his belt, and took his phone out of its holder!
Then I noticed a stain at the waist of his T-shirt.
“What’s that stain?” I asked, a little perplexed, having never seen this before and fearing something horrific, like a ruptured tumor or some toxic lesion.
“Oh, nothing,” he said, trying to divert my attention.
Well it didn’t look like nothing. It was black and yellow and puss colored, so I persisted.
Reluctantly he offered, “Well, this morning I had to carry three bags of trash across the river, and my hands were full. After I threw the trash into the back of the car, I drove to school. ”
So? Nothing strange so far…
“…And when I got out of the car at school I felt something wet inside my shirt at my waist, and, well, when I reached around the side of my shirt I found my banana…”
He continued, “…I put it in my shirt because I didn’t have any hands left, but I forgot about it until I got to school. But,” he continued, looking at me proudly, “I still ate it!”
Missing Cars and Messages
I picked up Jack for lunch after school Friday and we did some shopping. We drove the back road to the house because we'd been to Sam's and had some heavy stuff and didn't want to lug it across the bridge. When we got everything put away, I asked Jack if he wanted to listen to the last of our "Twilight" CD's (we'd purchased a new little "boom box" so we could finally listen to the end of the story!), but he just looked at me and said, "No, we can't."
I just looked back at him funny and said, "Why?"
"Because we have to go."
"Go where?"
"To the school..."
I just stared a moment and then "got it!" For the 3rd or 4th time, we'd left his car at the school. How the heck do we get all the way home before we remember we left his car there? We have to go get it because he leaves for work at 5 a.m. on Saturdays. So, we had to go back out the back road, back to the school, pick up his car, and both of us drive all the way back home! We are so tired of senior moments!
Today we went to lunch again and before I dropped him off, we decided we'd better leave ourselves a message on our home answering machine to remind me to accomplishing something important. So, Jack dialed our home phone number and before the stupid message finished, we just looked at each other! We'd already forgotten what the heck it was we were supposed to leave a message about, so all you hear on the answering machine is us laughing!
I just looked back at him funny and said, "Why?"
"Because we have to go."
"Go where?"
"To the school..."
I just stared a moment and then "got it!" For the 3rd or 4th time, we'd left his car at the school. How the heck do we get all the way home before we remember we left his car there? We have to go get it because he leaves for work at 5 a.m. on Saturdays. So, we had to go back out the back road, back to the school, pick up his car, and both of us drive all the way back home! We are so tired of senior moments!
Today we went to lunch again and before I dropped him off, we decided we'd better leave ourselves a message on our home answering machine to remind me to accomplishing something important. So, Jack dialed our home phone number and before the stupid message finished, we just looked at each other! We'd already forgotten what the heck it was we were supposed to leave a message about, so all you hear on the answering machine is us laughing!
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